


Holding onto Dreams

by PirateQueenOfThePacific



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Finn-centric, First Kiss, Fluff, Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 13:03:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7464294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PirateQueenOfThePacific/pseuds/PirateQueenOfThePacific
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn sleeps like a silent, unmoving soldier. Rey sleeps like she still battles Kylo Ren in her dreams. One-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding onto Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came from a headcanon written by soiranrightintoyou on Tumblr.

The _Millennium Falcon_ felt empty at night. Buzzing generators echoed throughout the ship, and it gave the old, light freighter a sense of hollowness. Finn found it unsettling as he listened to the sound of his own feet walking slowly through a maze of corridors. The reverberating noise joined the melodic tones of machinery heard in every hall.

Finn had never been alone his entire life. Years of training with the First Order had resulted in no privacy, no silence, and little time to rest. Now that he had time to himself, even for just a few hours, he felt uncomfortable. Uncertain. Escaping from the Order was one thing, but being alone felt like a whole new sense of freedom, one that Finn still did not know what to do with. He could not remember the last time it had been this quiet, nor the last time he had found a moment of peace. Despite it being months since the Order held power in the galaxy, Finn was still not adjusted from the years of war they had endured. He could still not settle down.

An occasional creak added to the noises of the _Falcon_ , indicating her struggle to settle down as well. They had spent days going in and out of light speed, and the adjustment to solid ground had taken its toll. With each step Finn took on the rusted, grated floor, he added to those creaks. Their uneasiness to relax felt joined together, as if the ship had a life of its own.

As Finn walked past a widened portion of a hall, he noticed Chewbacca lying peacefully on a row of boxes, too exhausted from the day to even get to his chamber and oversized bed. Finn smirked at the sight. Half of Chewie’s legs weren’t even propped up.

Walking to the end of the hall, Finn stopped at Rey’s door with hesitation. The metal barrier looked heavy, dark, and unwelcoming, and it caused Finn to question his actions the past few months. Were his actions from recent nights unwelcome as well?

* * *

 

On the day of victory, when the war had finally ended, celebrations could be heard for miles. The entire galaxy had found peace once again. Finn could remember running up to Rey through the crowds with a wide grin, only to be met by a small smile and eyes that were struggling to remain open. Rey had brought balance back to the Force and deserved every celebration held in her honor, yet Finn could see that all she wanted to do was sleep.

With one hopeful touch of her hand, Finn found himself being led back to the _Falcon_ as celebrations continued around them. No words were spoken. None were necessary. Wherever Rey went, Finn followed. Unless the Force itself got between them, that was the way it had always been. Since the beginning. Since Jakku.

Sleeping beside her had started as an accident. On that first night back on the ship, with his hand still holding hers, Finn fell asleep next to Rey the moment his head hit the pillow. She had fallen asleep even earlier, not even lying down completely before closing her eyes in exhaustion.

Within a few hours of his deep, dreamless sleep, Finn awoke to a gentle smack against his neck.

“What the—” Finn mumbled, his surprise clouded by the grogginess he felt. A slight pressure was bearing weight underneath his chin. Finn looked over to see Rey’s face, still fast asleep and unaware she had just woken up her companion. Her arm laid against his neck, and Finn could see her twitching slightly in her sleep.

With his vision still blurred, Finn touched Rey’s arm as delicately as he could. His large, soft hands pressed gently against her small wrist, and as he slowly moved her arm back to its original position, Finn watched her face for any signs of waking up. None were there.

Finn sat up from his position as he let go of her arm, allowing it to rest beside him for a moment before he stood up to leave.

The next morning, as Finn sat down to eat, he heard Rey’s door open and close shut. She stepped out into the corridor he sat in, and he couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight.

“What?” Rey asked, defensive.

“Your—” Finn paused, trying to suppress further laughter. “Your hair. It, um, well—”

Rey glanced down. The ties that normally pulled her long, dark brown hair together had come loose, with bits and pieces burnt off from yesterday’s battle. Finn sat a good distance from her, yet he could smell the burnt hair plainly. He knew the lingering scent reminded them both of yesterday.

“Do you want me to give you a haircut?”

* * *

 

The second time it happened, it was a request. After a few days, once the initial exhaustion had worn off, sleeping became much more difficult. Finn spent hours staring up at his ceiling, silently hoping for the insomnia to leave.

Years spent in a small, cramped bed had put Finn in the habit of lying on his back, completely still. Any other movement growing up was impossible in his former quarters. The sleeping habit had stuck even after years spent in much larger accommodations.

The door to his room opened, and Finn sat up suddenly in response. A thin, tall figure stood at the door. Their hand cautiously rested against the frame, as if still unsure about the choice to enter at all. Rey’s newly short, bobbed hair moved effortlessly against her face with each movement she made, and Finn admired the silhouette that now stood in the darkness with him.

“Hello.” Her voice was soft, an unnecessary whisper.

“Hi.”

“Do you mind if I stay here? I can hear Chewie’s snores from my room.”

Finn knew it was a lie. Chewbacca had been sleeping on the copilot seat as of late, far from Rey’s bed. The Wookiee snored louder than any human, but the sounds were not loud enough to travel as far as Rey claimed.

“Yeah,” he replied. “Of course.”

Rey walked up to a side of the bed and laid beside Finn, keeping herself above the blankets as she always did. Flat on her back, Rey matched the position Finn slept in. Years of sleeping on the ground had something to do with that, he was sure.

He thought about saying something. This was the first time he had slept next to someone on purpose. He wondered if it was the first time she had. As Finn turned to look at Rey, he saw the patterned breathing of her chest and closed eyes.

Within a few minutes, Finn found himself drifting off to sleep as well. Within a few hours, he was jostled awake again by a light smack on the nose.

Finn groaned, unsure what to make of the foreign object on his face. Placing his hand over it, he found the familiar outline of Rey’s fingers, spread out over him as she peacefully continued dreaming.

Finn placed Rey's hand back to her side, smiling to himself.

As days passed, nothing needed to be said. There they were, every night, lying beside each other. The companionship between them had grown into a comfortableness Finn had never experienced before. Rey was only the second friend he had made outside of the Order. They had been through so much together, and they had saved each other more times than he could count. Finn tried to tell himself it wasn’t different from anything else they did together. After all, they practically never left each other’s side. Their nights were no different than their days.

Both began the night facing the ceiling, but within a few hours, Finn always woke up.

First it was just her arm. Finn’s face, neck, chest, and stomach were all up for grabs. Whenever he was beside Rey, whenever she was asleep, her arms were in movement. They flopped from one side to the other throughout her sleep cycles, as if she was still fighting Kylo Ren in her dreams.

Then it was her legs. She kicked and moved them around the bed freely, unaware that the deepness of her sleep affected the light sleep Finn had developed over the years, ready to jump out of his bed at any time.

Last night had been the final straw. Finn woke up to Rey actively moving. Her arms and legs crashed into him every few minutes, reaching for things in her dreams. Finn tossed and turned in response as he tried to find a comfortable position on the bed. Every time he found one, Rey’s hand landed on his face. Or her leg would flop onto his.

With a groan of frustration, Finn placed a pillow over his face. A second later, he felt the weight of Rey’s arm land on top of it, sandwiching the pillow between them. Finn reached for her without hesitation, repositioning her arm lazily. After multiple nights, it had become second nature.

Finn slid the pillow onto his chest. He turned his head to glare at Rey, debating on leaving altogether. He envied her for being able to sleep through anything.

Rey began twitching in her sleep once again. It was subtle and slight, barely noticeable. Yet Finn watched her movements with anticipation, waiting for the next limb to fly across the bed and onto him.

Sure enough, Finn watched as Rey’s arm flopped back toward him, comfortably positioning itself onto his chest.

On a moment of impulse, Finn grabbed onto Rey and pushed her arm back, rolling them both on their sides. With his arm wrapped tightly around her, Finn felt Rey’s patterned breath continue on, oblivious to their new, much more intimate position.

 _What am I doing?_ Finn thought. His entire body felt warm. Their combined heat felt comforting, yet Finn still felt the slight panic of newness between them.

 _I should let go._ Before he could do so, Finn felt Rey grab his arm tightly, securing onto him like a child holding their favorite comfort item.

Her breathing remained steady, indicating she was still unaware. Finn felt Rey shift in her sleep again, but the adjustment was much more calm than the previous kicks he had been enduring. Any movement she made, it was restricted by their entangled bodies.

Seconds passed, but to Finn it felt like elongated minutes. Eventually, the stiff position he was in could no longer be kept, and he relaxed against the pillow to sleep, his arm wrapped around her, chest against her back. He let out a sigh, allowing himself to enjoy the moment of holding his closest friend.

Hours after drifting off, Finn felt his light sleeping habits get the best of him. He woke up suddenly, achingly aware of Rey’s body pressed against his. Finn’s arm was still wrapped around her tightly, and he could feel her small hand holding onto his arm. Their legs were intertwined, his over hers to prevent further kicking. Rey’s leg jutted down and toward Finn, elongated as if she was reaching toward something.

Finn gingerly removed himself from Rey’s grasp, hoping she wouldn’t wake up in the early hours of the day. As he walked quietly out of the room, Finn half hoped Rey wouldn’t notice what had happened.

* * *

 

All day, Finn had been ignoring Rey. Every time she walked past him, Finn tried to look as busy as possible, avoided eye contact, and at times walked out of the room entirely. The embarrassment he felt followed him like a rain cloud, blurring his ability to speak to her with the ease he usually did.

With one final, deep breath of courage, Finn opened the door.

Rey sat on the bed, one leg tucked underneath the other. Her chin rested gently against her knee, short hair falling forward in front of her face. The one blanket she kept on the bed had been pushed to the side, and most of it had drooped onto the floor beside her. She had a book laying in front of her, and she was squinting at it in the dim room. Illustrations of ship parts scattered around the text, numbers and symbols she knew by heart yet refused to stop reading. Finn recognized Han’s illegible handwriting on the margins, along with a few marks made by Rey.

“Um,” Finn mumbled, an awkward cough escaping his throat. “Hey.” His voice was muffled from the fist that covered his mouth.

“Hey,” she responded, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and looking up to face him.

“Whatchya up to?” he asked, realizing he had no valid reason to enter her room. Despite avoiding it all day, Finn felt the need to see her. Talk to her. After all, he couldn’t ignore it forever. 

“Just trying to read Han’s handwriting. Half of it doesn’t make sense even when I _can_ read it, but I figure _some_ of it has to be important.”

Finn chuckled, and his eyebrows raised in agreement. Han Solo had always been one to fumble his way through things, and Finn was sure his mechanical notes were no different.

Rey flipped through the book lazily and let out a sigh. “I just wish he was still here.” Her hand ran through the top of her hair, letting her natural part disappear while most of it tumbled to one side. “There’s still so much about this old piece of garbage I don’t understand.” She glanced up at Finn again with a small smirk on her face.

“Yeah,” Finn smiled in agreement, sitting down in front of her. The manual laid between them, its worn spine keeping it flat against the bed sheet.

Rey continued to play with the pages of the book, folding the corners and flipping pages absentmindedly. She looked like she was trying to say something.

Suddenly, Rey faced Finn, her hair falling back once more. “Were you holding onto me last night?” she blurted out, her eyes gaining the confidence to look him straight in the eye. They looked fearless in the barely-lit room, and Finn suppressed an audible gulp.

“Uh-um. Well,” Finn stammered. _So she_ had _noticed_. His eyes searched the room for something to focus on. “Yeah, well—”

“Well, what?” Rey demanded.

Finn took a deep breath in and out of his nose. In that moment, he wished she hadn’t noticed. That he could try to just forget the whole thing ever happened.

“You’re always hitting me in your sleep!” Finn exclaimed. “Every damn night I wake up and your arms and legs are all over the place. You smack me night in and night out, and I just got tired of it, alright?”

There was a pause as Rey’s facial expression changed from fearless to genuine confusion.

“I do?”

“Yes!”

“Oh.” Rey’s expression changed yet again, but Finn could not tell what it meant. What answer she had been expecting.

Finn sighed. “Look, it was a necessity. I didn’t mean to—that is, I didn’t mean an-anything by it. I didn’t want—.” He could hear himself stammering, searching for the platonic white lie that she might believe.

_What if she can read my mind? Can she do that? Rey, if you can read my mind, you better tell me right now, because I swear to—_

“I’m sorry that I hit you in my sleep. If—well. If you don’t want to hold onto me like that, you can always sleep somewhere else.” Rey squinted at him. “It’s not as if this is the only cabin you could possibly be in.” Finn recognized her expression of determination. The determination to pick a fight. It hadn’t been directed toward him in years. “You could be anywhere in the galaxy right now if you wanted to be, Finn.” Even with a lack of brightness in the room, Finn could see the faint blush that had formed on Rey’s face and neck.

“No! That’s not—I mean, it’s fine, I—um, well if you don’t want me to be here, I can leave. But I want to be here. And I can hold—” Finn looked at Rey, only to lose his confidence once again.

“You can what?”

“I can hold—onto you. I mean, I can hold you. When you sleep. If you want.”

Rey’s face relaxed slightly, looking into Finn’s eyes with an expression he had never seen before.

The tension between them hovered in the air, fighting to be released. Finn couldn’t seem to move. He was completely still, as if Rey herself had frozen him in place.

Slowly, Rey’s head turned to the side. Finn felt his heart leap toward her, but his body stayed where it was. Her face inched forward, hesitant as she touched the side of his face gently. Her cool hands felt soothing against the heat of his cheeks. Rey looked into Finn’s eyes, then to his lips, her mouth parting slightly as she closed the small space between them.

Finn closed his eyes when their lips found one another, surprised at the sensation he had thought about a million times but had never experienced. Her thin, soft lips pressed gently against his, as if asking a question.

Finn answered with enthusiasm, his hand reaching behind Rey’s head to bring her closer. Their lips slowly moved against one other, searching and finding each other in the dark.

Finn heard the manual fall to the floor, but Rey didn’t seem to notice as she put her hand around Finn’s neck and guided him down toward her, leaning herself against the bed.

That night, Finn slept with his arm wrapped around Rey before she had even fallen asleep.


End file.
